If Not Yummy Mummy, Then Who?

I read somewhere recently that the reign of the Yummy Mummy is coming to an end. Although I never actually met one of these divine creatures (not being one myself), I saw them. Everywhere. In my pre-natal classes. In the hospital ward. At the baby clinic. At mothers group. In the mall. At the park. In my nightmares. And they made me feel really, really bad about myself. I felt bad that I couldn't wear maternity hipster skinny jeans - believe me, I wanted to. I felt bad I wasn't rich. I felt bad I didn't have time to wash my hair. Oh, there were days when I was strong enough to snicker about the fact that grown women with children were actually calling themselves 'Yummy Mummies'. But mostly I felt bad. And that made me mad. I had spent my teens and twenties feeling a bit too fat, a bit too ugly, a bit too 'last year' and what I loved most about my thirties was not worrying about that stuff anymore - unless I read a magazine, visited the Clinique counter at DJs or entered a nightclub (as if!). I was overjoyed when I fell pregnant. 'Does my gut stick out in this dress?' 'Why, yes it does. And it's divine.' And then along came Yummy Mummy. Am I sorry to see her go? Hell, no.

But I am a little nervous about who will replace her. Who will we aspire to be next? CEO Mummy, Organic Eco-Warrior Mummy (please no), Olympian Mummy, Playboy Bunny Mummy? As women tend to be the ones who chose our own ridiculous benchmarks, why don't we go easy on ourselves this time and pick someone who we can be better than, or at the very least who we can get close to. Here's my vote.

I love Britney.