Blackberry Madness

Anyone have a Blackberry for work? I lusted after one of these babies for the longest time. And then I got one and it was definitely the most treasured thing I had ever owned – sorry boys, just keeping it real. Apart from looking very important next to a decaf skim latte, it revolutionised my life. I experienced the joy of an empty Inbox on a Monday morning and had the luxury of mentally preparing for the challenges for the week ahead. But like all obsessive relationships, things began to turn sour. I realised I was working 90 hours a week. People knew I was ‘on-line’ so they started sending me inane emails – ‘sorry to bother you at home, my break’s not til 11.00 but I really need to go to the loo …’ Catastrophes I could do nothing about played on my mind all weekend, robbing me of my former blissful ignorance. I would cry myself to sleep at night as the emails rolled in. I was in Blackberry Hell. My Assistant had become my Master.

And then we went on holidays and I had no reception. I had a nervous breakdown. But the world didn’t stop and nothing bad happened. So I made Blackberry rules :

- Only check once a night
- Set Auto-Off for 10pm
- Only check twice a day on weekends
- Stupid emails get ignored
- Really stupid emails get a sarcastic reply (with a smiley face to take the sting out).

My Blackberry and I made a truce, but I missed the heady romance of the early days. Then I discovered a feature they don’t put in the Handbook and I need to share it:

1. Make a cup of tea – blackberry if you have it.
2. While the kettle boils, glance at your Blackberry and loud enough for everyone to hear, exclaim ‘Oh no’ or something to that effect, but more dramatic.
3. Ask your husband to keep an eye on the kids because something has ‘come up’ at work (trust me, he won’t ask what. He doesn’t care).
4. Take your tea and your Blackberry (and maybe a cookie) outside and shut the door.
5. Drink your tea and play Sudoku in peace for half an hour.
I call this Blackberry Bliss. And yes, I am in love again.

Next up ... how obsessed can one person be with their iPhone? Yes, I have one of each. Be afraid.